Do you have what it takes to be a writer? A foolproof quiz.

So you want to be a writer.  Good for you!  Never give up on your dreams.  If you’re not sure if you have what it takes to do this professionally, the below quiz should help you out.


1. How do you feel about rejection? Constant, crippling rejection?

a. I love it.  It makes me stronger and madder, like the hulk.
b. I don’t love it but I can learn to tolerate it
c. I hate it and it makes me sad

2. Do you need money to live?

a. Nope
b. A little. Not much though.  I have a full time job
c. Yes. Of course I do. Why would that even be a question?

3. What do you think writing is?

a. Work
b. Work
c. Sitting in Starbucks, sipping a pumpkin Latte with a Macbook, listening to my muse and writing my truth

4. Pretend you’re walking through a forest. To your left is a dark path that leads to sadness and defeat. On your right, a bright path that leads to kisses and high fives. What path do you take?

a. The path on the left
b. That is a difficult question, but maybe I dip my toe in the left path and see how I like it?
c. I don’t understand these questions. Of course I pick the path on the right

5. What substance are you addicted to?

a. Drugs. Booze. All of them. I love all the substances.
b. I do enjoy the occasional glass of wine.
c. None. I’m not addicted to anything. I don’t get what this has to do with any-

6. What’s your take on crippling loneliness?

a. I love it because I hate people, except from a distance
b. I don’t mind some time to myself. Everything in moderation
c. You literally called it “crippling”. So no, I don’t want to be so lonely that it counts as a disability

7. How do you feel working on something for 800 hours that maybe 50 people will consume?

a. Fine by me
b. I don’t love that ratio, but even 50 people enjoying something I created is pretty cool.
c. That sounds horrible.

8. Where do you land on self-loathing?

a. I hate myself, sure. I hate myself and everything I create.
b. Sometimes I can get a little down on myself, but life is a journey. LOL
c. This is honestly the dumbest quiz I’ve ever taken.

9. On a scale of one to ten, rate screaming your heart and passion into a remorseless empty void that provides no feedback or response or love.

a. Ten. That sounds wonderful
b. Eeesh. A void, huh? I guess a soft six
c. Fuck you and this quiz. None of this has anything to do with writing.

10. What do you want out of writing? Serious question.

a. I really like writing.
b. I really like writing
c. Money and fame.


Scoring

1. If you answered mostly “a”

Congratulations and my condolences.  You are a dedicated, career-level writer.  Your life will be filled with giddy highs and disastrous lows.  For you, writing is that partner you can’t seem to break up with. You know its bad for you, but you can’t stop.   You will eventually succeed.  Never stop!

2. If you answered mostly “b”

You are a hobby-writer.  You’re good at it, it gives you pleasure, but it’s something you do in your spare time.  If you make a couple bucks off it, so much the better.  You’re over the moon if even ten people read something you wrote.  You will eventually succeed.  Never stop!

3. If you answered mostly “c”

You have never tried writing in real life.  Your whole image of what this profession is comes from movies.   You have a lot of ideas, but you’ve never made it past the first chapter of any book you’ve started.  You’re probably very talented at other things!  You will eventually succeed, only not at writing.  Never stop!

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2 comments

  1. “I love it because I hate people, except from a distance” — Hey! Do I talk in my sleep?

    “How do you feel working on something for 800 hours that maybe 50 people will consume?”
    FIFTY! — You lucky dog, you.

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